Every now and then we like to have a little fun with our Australian Resume Writing Service. This is one of those times.
I’m sure you’ve heard a lot of great things about using professional resume writers – laser focused eye-catching documents, how they genuinely want to help you get the job of your dreams, the phone ringing off the hook for interviews after you’ve sent your application out … the list goes on.
If there are many reasons why you must engage a professional to write you the resume you need to get the job you want, there are just as many reasons to convince you to not to. Forget paying a certified professional resume writer to do the job for you – it’s a total waste of time. Here’s why:
1) That ringing phone can get really annoying.
Once that phone starts ringing, you have to answer it, right? Alright, we can’t guarantee that this will be the case every time, but a great resume will get attention (hopefully the right sort) and can often lead to a rapid increase in calls from recruiters. Nonetheless, that can be really annoying, and such a total waste of time.
2) It takes time. A lot of time.
Who has 7-10 days to wait for a resume? A professional resume writer will try and tell you that the actual writing of your resume takes 5 – 7 days before it goes to proof-reading (another day lost) and QA (yet another day). How many people does it take to write a resume? Apparently at least 3 if you want it done properly. Total waste of time.
3) You learn so much your head could almost explode.
Who knew that, more often than not, a computer reads your resume before a real person? Who knew that employers don’t actually care what your career objective is? Who knew that you shouldn’t use tables, headers, logos or footers or other rather snappy formatting tricks on your resume? Your head will positively swim from the information overload you get from a certified professional resume writer because they’re often rather clever, and always pretty happy to pass on all that knowledge. Sometimes, it’s best just not to know.
4) You’ll have to think about things in ways you’ve never done before.
You’ve done dozens of things of work, and they’re easy to stuff into your resume and call achievements, right? Wrong. All of a sudden, if you work with a professional resume writer, they’ll start asking to think about what the outcome was for all of those amazing things you’ve achieved. Apparently just listing what you did doesn’t cut it anymore, and so you’ll find yourself having to really think hard about what you’ve done. Who has time to do that?
5) You’ll still have to put some effort in.
Just when you think you’ve found the perfect professional resume writer for you, they tell you that you need to do some work. “Wait a minute … isn’t that what I’m paying you for?”, you gasp! Well, you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, so all of a sudden, you will get roped in to conjure up some information to help the writer. It’s such an effort.
6) Sometimes, they won’t help you, no matter how much money you offer to pay.
Now there’s a good one. The really good ones will tell if you if they can’t help you. True, this only happens when you already have a truly amazing resume, or because you’ve done no re-training, no skills updates, never gone beyond the expectations of the job, never achieved anything at work, not contributed in any way to better yourself, your workplace, your job, employer, customers, clients, or colleagues, a certified professional resume writer will not be able to help reposition you for your next career move. Apparently, turning up for the job on time just isn’t enough these days. A professional resume writer will tell you that’s what you get paid to do! If your certified resume writer cannot add value to your CV because you’ve not added value anywhere, they won’t help you, no matter how much you can pay. The cheek!
7) They’ll try and up-sell you other products and services under the guise of ‘helping’ you.
So you reckon all you need is a resume, and all of a sudden, they’re trying to up-sell you a LinkedIn profile and a cover letter??? Excuse me? They’ll tell you LinkedIn is an important tool for job seeking. They’ll say that an increasing number of companies are using it to find candidates, post jobs and accept applications directly, and, because companies want to get to know someone before they hire them, they will use it to informally vet you. They’ll tell that an employer will say “Sure, send me your CV,” and then they’ll turn around and google you, and check you out on LinkedIn. As for cover letters, who really cares if 33% of recruiters weight them as heavily as they do the resume and the LinkedIn profile. Who really needs a hard sell when all you need is a job, and quickly?
8) You could be left with too many choices.
What, with all those employers chomping at the bit to get a piece of you, you’ll be torn. You don’t need to have job options. You just need A job. Any job, right?
9) It costs money, and a lot more than you think it would.
A certified professional resume writer will tell you that you get what you pay for. They’ll tell you that they spend a lot of time re-writing CVs for people who’ve used quick, cheap services like that self-proclaimed resume expert who advertises $75 resumes on Google and Gumtree. in the past. They’ll tell you that it can take up to 12 hours to write a great CV, before they even start on several rounds of edits, followed by professional proofreading and peer-review, and that before the one-to-one telephone interview and/or detailed questioning of your experience to date, and the development of examples of your achievements and successes so that your CV stands out from the rest. They’ll tell you at least three professionals are involved in the construction, drafting, writing, proofing and peer-review of your new CV.
They’ll tell you that its no secret that an outstanding resume can reduce the time spent on job searches, and help position you for a much bigger salary.
They’ll say, think about this way … “Assuming you work a 35 hour week, if your new resume helps land you a job that pays just $1 more an hour than what you’re on now, over the course of a year, that translates to a whopping increase of $1680 gross. Imagine if your salary increased even more …?” Whatever, right?
10) They’ll give you confusing advice, and make you feel a bit stupid.
After trawling the internet for hours trying to work out how to sort out your own resume, just when you thought you’d nutted out exactly how many pages your resume should be, in what font, and decided on a gorgeous colour scheme, they’ll advise to do something completely different. You’ll probably be told to do pretty much the opposite of what everyone else on the internet says to do. Then they’ll make you realise that close to everything you’ve spent hours researching was all about the US job market, and how they do things in America, which is really very different to how things are done here in Australia. Well, that really was a total waste pf time then, wasn’t it?
11) They’ll strip some of your proudest achievements out of your resume.
You might be really proud to be the local boozer’s beer chugging champion, or perhaps you’ve dined out for years on the story of the night you were awarded that bingo queen title, but a professional resume writer will strip those special moments right out from under your nose, and insist they have no place on your resume. How very dare they!
12) All those interviews can get really tedious.
I mean really, how much time do you actually have to traipse around town going from one interview to another?
CV Saviour is an Australian resume writing service. All our writers are certified professional resume writers. We make a point of that, because in Australia, it’s an unregulated industry, and anyone can hang their shingle and call themselves a resume writer. We also write rather smashing LinkedIn profiles. (We think it’s ok for us to say that, because we were good enough to write them for Stanford University). As an aside, we use CV and résumé interchangeably because in the Australian job market, either is acceptable, and both are understood to be the same thing.